Winners Chapel Is An Evil Church?, By FBI

By Firsts Baba Isa (FBI)

I sat down there. Painfully listening to this girl spew rubbish. The younger me would have answered her but the older me is wiser. Answering her will not help anybody. My time will come... Most times it does. But if it doesn't this time around, at least we will all go in peace.

She is Igbo. And she was telling everyone at the top of her voice how she will rather die than marry a Yoruba man. Yorubas are too tribalistic. They are dishonest people. They are this. They are that.

O God I was dying to tell her to shut up. How can such an educated girl spew such rubbish? See, you have a right to decide which tribe or race you want to marry from but concluding that a particular tribe is entirely bad or entirely good is a low form of foolish.

I was telling my friend the other day that one of the persons who really inspired me to do law is Igbo (himself a lawyer), another Igbo even supported me financially in Law School but some of the most dishonest lawyers I have met are Igbos.

So the point is every tribe has good and bad people. Period. If we do a proper research we will see that the people that have caused us the most hurt are members of our household, village or tribe. Na them we no suppose marry sef.

The best way to check personal stupidity level is when one is behaving as if he even chose to be born in a particular place or into a particular tribe. No you didn't! Stop the arrogance already.

You dated one Tiv girl who broke your heart and now all Tiv girls are whores. One Igbo man cheated you in the market and now all of them are thieves. Excuse me? Has your brain been hacked?

God caught that girl.

Just when we are at Mararaba, she started giving us flyers, inviting us to attend Winners Chapel, Goshen. I smiled that wicked FBI smile that only Firstlady can decode. If she was there she would have just known there was something up my sleeves.

She tapped my shoulder: "Oga let me invite you to service tomorrow at Goshen. It will be a great time. Our Bishop will..."

"I'm not attending that evil church!"

Freeze. Dead silence in the bus.

"Excuse me sir?" She was clearly taken aback in a frightened way. I had been the most quite in the bus. She didn't see it coming.

"Is it not Winners Chapel?"

"Yes?"

"Founded by Bishop David Oyedepo? And the one in Goshen headed by Bishop David Abioye?"

Impatiently. "Yes?"

"It's an evil church na. The two bishops are Yoruba men. And you have spent over one hour from Makurdi to Lafia convincing us of how evil Yoruba men are. So that church must be evil. Thank you for opening my eyes."

She was petrified. She sat down without saying a word. Everybody started laughing. Clapping. And talking at once.

Me: just looking forward to hug Firstlady. Dazzol.

You see the foolishness of tribal sentiments? You can't marry a Yoruba man because they are evil. Then you go to church on Sunday and a Yoruba man prays for you in the name of a Jew and you shout "Amen!"

Mtcheew.

- Firsts Baba Isa (FBI)