By Kikekon Manoah
Human is one of the creatures that hardly changes, due to egoistic nature of human.
More often, children mostly between the ages of 1-12 are easily compel to change mainly because they are yet to reach the stage of accountability. This is because during these ages, sense of existence and ideology is developed from the people around them particularly from religious activity. At this period of human life, there is hardly or no consciousness to question a particular ideology or philosophy which is the reason why change in human is easy at that point.
The second stage is 13-19 classified by this paper as teenage life. Teenage life is also a phase in human life that is also subject to change most times. This is the stage of accountability or a stage where human begins have a sense of independence. It is sometimes of negative influence on the ideology or way of life that had been earlier developed if not properly guided, this is not to mean that positive vibes too, do not develop during this stage, because at that point of life "self consciousness" is developed and questions to a particular ideology. This is the sense of what I called “self realization or actualization” being developed, which prompt the spirit of self independence. At teenage of human life, people start questioning the ideology of your parents, religion and culture. These questions often revolve from comparism between your ideology to others which will result to the question of, why do I have to do it this way and not the other way?.
The development of justification to actions comes when someone become a teenager. Then he will begin to think outside the box that had been created from age 1-12, he then begin to criticize the ideas that has been developed. At this point of human’s life, human is easily influenced by friends or associate against previous developed ideology. If this time of human’s life is well guided along the previously developed ideology the chances of changing later in life is 50-50, he or she may or may not ever change.
At adulthood, changes hardly ever occurred, this is when people use the phrase “I am not a kid” which means kids do not always have options than to comply. An ideology at adult may never change, because that sense of "self" way of life has already been developed and human will always do all he could to protect his way of life at that point of adulthood. At adulthood people hardly changes, that is why people will keep complaining about the action of a particular person for years but there will never really be a change. An adult may never see anything wrong in his or her actions, because he or she will always have a form of justification to either his action or way of life.
At that point of human life the phrase “that is who I am” is most used, which means that, that personality is not ready to change.
Do not always expect an adult to change, in other to co-exist with a person at adult hood One have to work on him or herself. Instead of you waiting or praying for that person to change, you work on yourself by creating a point of concession or agreement, so that both partners can live together peacefully especially in marriage. You have to develop the sense of accepting people the way they are, because they may never change to that which you want.
Many marriages often collapse today because of inability to cope with action of the other partners. In some marriage the partners are aware of the bad characters of the spouse but they say “I will change him or her”. They eventually break up because they never see the expected changes. In some marriages the partners were not aware of the negative characters of each other until after marriage, at the point of discovery there will definitely be complaint and some expectations of change but if these changes are not seen they end up dissolving the marriage. Breakup in marriages can be prevented to large extent, if you can have it in your mind that people hardly ever change, then both partner has no other option than to create a pace to co-exist peacefully..
For human to change at adulthood requires some procedures or steps that the personality have to go through or take. The first step to change in human’s life is the acknowledgement of the wrong way of life, if the person has never acknowledged the wrongs in his actions, no amount of complaint or persuasion can change that person, because that thought of self justification is always there to provide reasons in support of his actions or ways of life.
The next step is the willingness to change for better, the willingness to change will propel the personality to ask for what to do to become better. Looking at the pressupposition earlier made above, you may see it as what is not absolutely correct or true but a vivid study of man’s life will prove to you that it may be right.
Do not get me wrong I didn’t say man cannot change but I say “man may never change”, because change is a process of becoming something not in it's original form, a very important point here is that change can only happen in human through one means which is “self change”. Nobody has the power to change another person but that person himself. No amount of persuasion can change anybody, if that person did not see the need to change.
If change is said to be constant it means it happens always, its application to humans character or ideology is highly technical and are subjected to some conditions, which are, acknowledgment and the desire or determination to change.
Change is always expected from relatives, friends and associates, a political system or an administrative structure. It may never always happen if the personalities involve does not apply the terms of change, the thinking structure in human is the major factor that may or may not allow change in human.
Looking at it from Christendom, before becoming a true believer, the pastor will ask you, first to acknowledge your sins, confess your sins and ask God for forgiveness. Then you can become a change person. Acknowledgement of your bad character is the major first step to change in human, no amount of prayers or preaching of a religious leader can change you, unless you see the need to change by yourself before any change can be possible. If not you, you may never change.
That is why I will say “he who has refused to change let him be”.
No comments